


Metanoia

by Andro_Alchemist



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2019-10-26 12:13:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17745710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andro_Alchemist/pseuds/Andro_Alchemist
Summary: Hanahaki Disease-- an illness born from one sided love, the victim coughs up petals and flowers. It may be removed with surgery, but the feelings go away with the petals. It can also be cured if love is requited.Metanoia, an Ancient Greek word (μετάνοια) meaning "changing one's mind", may refer to: Metanoia (psychology), the process of experiencing a "breakdown" and subsequent, positive psychological re-building or "healing"Ever since the incident, Keith has been terrified of love and any sort of attachment in fear of the flowers and the pain. He moves around from place to place, foster home to foster home, in search for somewhere that provides no distraction to him. He moves to a beach side town in hope that it would be calm, but the events there will make him face his greatest fears and grow.





	1. The smell of Whiskey

When Mr.Kogane walks into the house, he saw the babysitter playing blocks with his five year old son. Oh how he resented his son, he reminded him of his late wife, hating the child for it. He would never tell his son that though, he was only five, a kid. He dropped his bag off and walked over to the kitchen, seeming like he was ignoring the two in the living room, taking out a crystal glass and whisky, pouring himself a glass to ease his long day. 

Keith's face lit up when he saw his father, a bubbly little smile appearing on his face. He was happy to see him, missing him after the long day without him home. He looked back over at the babysitter, who was standing up and walking to the kitchen where Mr. Kogane was. 

"Hello Mr. Kogane" she said politely with a smile, "Keith was good today, just like he always is. Although, he had a coughing fit earlier, so maybe he should go to bed early tonight." She informed him of they day. He nods to her, looking over to her once he was done pouring himself the glass of the amber looking booze, then looking at Keith who walked into the kitchen as well, a fake smile forming on his face as he ruffled the kids hair*

"Don't be gettin' sick on me! You have a project due at school tomorrow, can't miss it!" He remembered, Keith has been excited about the project, he couldn't remember what it was about, not really listening when Keith was telling him.

"I won't get sick! I don't get sick. There was just something in my throat earlier!" Keith said with a tiny laugh as his hair was ruffled by his father. He would never miss the project that he had due tomorrow, it was way to much fun to miss out on.

"Ok, that's good" Mr.Kogane said, pulling his hand away from the kids hair and reaching back into his pocket to get his wallet out, taking out the appropriate amount of money to pay the babysitter, "thank you for watching him."

"It was my pleasure, really, you kid is amazing" she said with a smile, taking the money before she gave Keith a playful grin before she left the house, walking out of the front door. Keith didn't know why, but he was getting the weird funny feelings again, like something tickling his throat. He coughed a few more times, covering his mouth to keep from being yelled at by his dad. As soon as the door closed, Mr.Kogane downed the rest of the whisky in the glass, filling it back up again. With a loud sigh, he walked past Keith to the living room, flopping down on the couch.

"Hey kid, what to watch some TV? I'm turning in that gun show that you like." He asked as he picked the remote up from off the coffee table.

"I don't-" Keith started before coughing a few more times, his breath hurting me getting a bit like a wheeze. Even though he wanted to watch with his dad, he felt sick almost, standing in the other room covering his mouth with his hands. His dad turned to looks at him, a bit of annoyance in his gaze.

"You said you were ok. We're you lying?"

"I'm okay." Keith said, trying to stifle his coughs. He could tell that his dad was picking up on something, the violent coughing, something catching in his throat, his breathing becoming pained. He didn't know how it felt, he just hoped that his dad would be there for him. He really just wanted his dad to help him and hug him. "I just... feel something" he mumbled in pain. Mr.Kogane placed his glass on the table and gets up, kneeling next to his son and patting him on the back, but when he did, a small lilac fell out of Keith's mouth and onto his hands. His dad freezes when he saw the flower, looking at it in disgust and confusion as he stoped trying to help him.

"What the hell?! Kid, did you eat a flower at recess today or somethin?!" He said in annoyance, sighing as he softly presses his forehead to his hand. "Do you at least feel better now?" He asked, trying to calm himself down from assuming things like that.

"I-I didn't, no!" Keith shook his head quickly, dropping the flower and looking up at his dad with large and glassy eyes. He needed help, it wasn't normal for people to do that. "B-But... I guess I'm okay now..." Keith said before he coughed once more, a small green leaf fallowing.

"That's good.. I won't ask about the flower. How about I give you some ice cream to make your throat feel better, then we can watch TV." His father suggested, standing up and throwing the flower away before he took the ice cream out of the freezer and put a small scoop in a small children's bowl. When his dad picked the flower up, Keith couldn't help but stare at the flower that he coughed up. What did this mean? These odd flowers and plants that's been stuck in his throat, what did they mean? When he was offered ice cream, he did t light up like he normally did, just thanking him. It was just today that these weird feelings in his heart and chest and throat, smaller pressures in his chest, his breath tight.

"Are ya sure you're not gettin' sick?" His father asked as he handed him the small bowl of the dessert. This kid was his wife's kid, he had to protect him, even if he didn't like him. He ruffled his hair again before walking back over to the couch, leaving a space on the couch for Keith to sit. 

"Yeah, im sure..." Keith nods, taking the bowl and eating a bit, fallowing his father to go on the couch with his dad, a sadder rather then happy smile on his face as he sat next to him. Only after two bites, he felt his that his throats and chest was constricted, like something was blooming in his chest. Were these more flowers coming up through his throat? His head began to hurt and his eyes felt a bit of pressure. He didn't know what was happening. He tryed his best not to cry in front of his dad. After a while, after he finishes his ice cream, some hyacinth petals fall out from between his lips, getting his fathers attention again, the petals shriveling up and dying almost instantly.

"It's happening again?!" His dad said in shock. He presses his hand to his face as he turned the TV off and standing up. "You just have to ruin everything don't you. We're going to the emergency room" he said in annoyance as he picks Keith up and grabbing his keys on the way out of the house. Keith's heart and lungs ached more as he was picked up, his coughing growing violent. The petals are now more frequent and turned to whole flowers, small bits of blood freckling on the flowers and immediately shriveling up as they were near his dad and him. In his eyes, he felt tears.

"I-I'm sorry.. I can't control it.." he said softly in his crys of pain.

"It's fine.." his dad said in response in a monotone voice, putting Keith in the car before getting in the drivers seat. They quickly headed to the hospital, Mr.Kogane trying to think of what the hell could be going on. He's never seen anything like this before. And he knew that he would whoop Keith's ass if he was pulling a prank on him. Keith was feeling vary uncomfortable, his stomach contracting and aching, feeling as though there were extremely bad cramps. At a rather quick rate, flowers were blossoming from his mouth, painful, muffled cries escaping him as the flowers were piling up around him in the car, dying immediately. Every time his dad spoke to him, he wretched up flowers, the odd sweetness stinging in his mouth. 

Once they were at the hospital, he quickly gets Keith out of the car, holding him as he ran inside the emergency room, Keith gripping onto his dad, wrapping his arms around his neck as the blood dusted flowers fell from behind his shoulder. He stood at the reception desk with a panicked expression.

"My son is coughing up flowers and I don't know what to do!" Mr. Kogane expressed, the man at the front desk looking up.

"Coughing flowers?" He asked curiously, quickly writing down their names as mr.kogane told him. He then quickly stood up, leading them to a room, not even speaking. "Fallow me. This is a rare thing, it's an old disease, Hanahaki."

"What the hell is Han-Acki?!" He said as he quickly fallows him, patting Keith on the back as he coughs.

"It's an extremely rare disease that came from Eastern Asia, where, due to one sided affection and admiration and love results in flowers to grow in the lungs. Coughing is the most common source of relieving the flowers, but there have been other cases of  crying, or even vomiting up the flowers." He explained to Keith and his dad, feeling terrible for the little boy with the disease that could be fatal, how he was literally dying of a broken heart. His dad was speachless. He looked over at Keith, who the hell could he like so much that doesn't like him back?

"How do we stop it?" He asked loudly, "he's only five! He can't die!"

Keith got to thinking after the explanation, the only reason why he could have gotten this was because his father. Yes, that was it. His own father didn't love him, causing his eyes to grow wide then close quickly as tears rolled down his cheeks. He clung to his dad, even more of the flowers falling from his mouth, but instead of dying when they came out, they were already dead.

"Well Mr.Kogane, there is surgery to get rid of the flowers in desperate measure.. and judging by how he's crying and how violently he's coughing, the person he loves isn't going to love him back." The nurse explains, looking at the child with a sad expression. "Though. There is one catch.. if you remove the flowers, all the feeling that he has for that person would be lost, gone."

Mr.Kogane really had no idea who this person could be, he looked to Keith, rubbing his back a bit. "Hey, kid, who do you like so much? Huh? Can you get over them?" He asked quickly, wanting this to be over with.

"D-Dad..." Keith mutters between his spasm of violent coughs, the sickening taste of flowers and blood placed upon his tongue. "It's you." He said, avoiding eye contact. His sobbing grew, hiccuping and choking  upon the dead flowers in his mouth. The receptionist only looked at him, then to his father in shock that his kid had to feel this terrible because he didn't love him. It must have been like this for years, the receptionist knew the flowers that Keith had been coughing up. White Camelias, admiration; purple hyacinths, forgiveness. And the most depressing part, that these flowers were dead.

"I-I do lo-" his dad was about to lie, but he knew that it wouldn't help at all. He prys Keith from himself and hand him to the receptionist. "Yeah, I don't. I can't say that I do because I don't. Keith, I never loved you, I never wanted you, I just kept you around because that's what she would have done! I'll never love you, so just go. Have the surgery, forget about me." He said harshly to Keith before he turns and started walking away, down the hall they came and away from the two. Keith's head started to pound, a violent source pushing at the back of his eyes. When he was crying, marigold blossoms, signifying the grief and departure from his father fell down his face with the tears he was crying. The receptionist started to walk down the hall to the emergency room, opposite end of the hall where mister Kogane. Keith looked back at his father, crying out to him, asking him why it was like this. Why did he need to hate him. Keith was only a child, and he felt his heart literally breaking.

Once Mr.Kogane turned the corner, he let out a loud sigh of relief, feeling a large weight lifted from his shoulders. He heard Keith's crys out to him, and it did break his heart a bit to hear the kid scream at him in sadness like that. He left the hospital quickly and headed to his car.

The receptionist tryed to comfort Keith, knowing how much pain the small child was in. And once they were in the operating room, he lays the boy down onto the bed, brushing some of his hair from his face.

"It will be ok, Keith... we'll get this done with soon, no more flowers..."


	2. Running Boy

Eleven years had gone by that faithful day, when he realized his 'father' didn't love him. He was heart broken, almost dying at such a young age. Ever since then, he has been placed from foster home to foster home at Keith's wishes to prevent getting to attached. He was /afraid/ of love and he had to leave to make sure nothing like what happened before would happen again.  
———————————

The Shiroganes were nice, much better and kinder then the last family that took care of Keith last. They're house is big, and near the ocean, living out their earlier retirement on the beach after their son, Takashi, left for collage. 

Keith got his own room, Mrs Shirogane always made him and her husband breakfast lunch and dinner, always wanting to tryout new recipes, and Mr Shirogane always told him that if there was anything he needed to just let them know, and he would always say it with a truthful smile. They were nice, really nice, and Keith always felt guilty whenever he pushed them away when they were just trying to help. 

In this particular morning, Keith really didn't feel like being a conversationalist at breakfast, which he couldn't never really escape since both of his foster parents were morning people, so he got his phone, earbuds, and a granola bar and left the house before the two woke up. He did this a lot so he knew that they won't worry, this might be the only thing he didn't feel to guilty about doing other then the fact that he can't try Mrs Siroganes new breakfast recipe. 

He walked down steps from the front door to the street since all the bigger houses on this road were on weird stilt things that Keith remembers vaguely of Mr Shirogane explaining that it's too keep the houses from flooding in emergency, but Keith always thought it was idiotic to even build houses where there could be major floods or storms like that. He walks to the main road of the town, looking both ways to see that no car is coming, then sprints across the pavement. Once he walked close enough to the beach that the ground was mostly sand, he took his shoes off to carry them to walk barefoot down the beach. 

This morning was actually quite beautiful, whispy clouds that were backlit from the pinks and oranges that started to light up the sky as the sun rose in the direction he was facing, to the water. The soft salt breeze off the ocean immediately brushing against him once he walked past the sand dunes, almost greeting him to the empty beach before everyone started to show up to play in the water or get their tans. The beach was completely empty except for one boy who was running. He looked like he was around his age, a dark sunkissed looking boy with many freackles across his face and shoulders, his eyes a bright spring blue. He could never run like how that boy was running now, he was shirtless, and Keith would never be seen alive in public shirtless, not wanting his scar that was prominent down his torso to be seen. That one day still haunts him today, why wouldn't it? That night he remembered crying and being in pain and wanting his father to comfort him and care for him, and then the next morning all he remembers is the numb feeling that he had in his heart, how empty he felt after the surgery that left the long scar down his front. 

Keith took a deep breath, wanting to shake that memory from his head, knowing that he probably thinks about it to much. Looking down at his feet and loud music in his ears, he didn't notice the running boy jog up to him until he felt a soft tap on his shoulder. He looked up at him with a sort of blank expression he always put on to keep people who might want to talk with him away.

"I haven't seen you around before, are you new?" The warm skinned boy said with a soft and bright smile, probably the most beautiful smile he's seen. "This town is old, and small. We rarely get people to visit and we rarely get people leaving, it's not irregular to know everyone's face around here, and yours I don't know!" He said boldly, obvious that he was literally just being himself. 'I don't neeed this' Keith though to himself, a soft and annoyed sigh escaping him, small enough that Lance didn't catch up on it. He looked away and started to walk again, pretending that he couldn't hear him over his music, tieing his thin flanal around his waist as he walked slowly, but then the boy started to walk next to him, obviously not getting the hint. "I'm Lance!!" The boy said, now Keith had to respond, knowing that he probably won't leave until he does. He finally takes his earbuds out and faces him.

"Um, yeah. I'm new. I'm staying with the Shiroganes for the time being, it's not permanent, but, it's nice to meet you too." Keith responded out of politeness, but sort of just wanting this conversation to be over already. "I'm Keith" he said, leaving out his last name for obvious reasons to himself. 

"Pleasure to meet you Keith!" Lance said full of energy, "oh, and by the way, the forecast said it's going to be hot today, and the sun is coming up, so I suggest that if your planning on staying outside you should put your hair up or change your shirt out of black or something" he suggested. Lance takes a blue hair tie from his wrist and hands it to Keith, also handing him the water bottle that he hadn't drank from yet during his run. 

"Um, I don't need this, thank you though" Keith said, trying to deny the gifts, not wanting to take something from him because that means he'll have to repay him later. 

"Yes you do, keep your hair off your neck, and drink lots of water if you're going to stay out. My house is right down there so don't feel feel bad for taking my water, I'll just get a drink when I get home" he insisted to Keith, basically pushing the water and the hair tie in his hands. 

"Oh. Umm..... thanks I guess?" Keith said in a confused tone, hesitantly taking the two things.

"No problem!! And don't feel the need to return them, I have many at home" Lance reassured him, putting his hand on Keith's shoulder almost as a farewell as he starts to run down the beach again, "see you again soon!" He said as he ran, waving to him softly.


	3. Worn Beach House

I run a little while longer down the beach, reaching the beach side house, home. It wasn't a huge house, actually quite small, the dark and faded wood on the side of the house that matched the boardwalk we had right down to the sand. I make my way down the smooth wooded boardwalk to the sand covered deck of the house, stomping my feet in hope of getting sand off my bare feet before opening the screen door to the house, and walking in.

"Mamá!! Estoy en casa!!" I called out loudly throughout the warm and worn house, propping myself against the doorframe and wiping my feet off from most of the sand so I don't track sand through the house.

"Ah, hello Mijó. How was your run?" I heard my mom say in the direction of the screened in patio next to the kitchen, looking up to see her sitting in her favorite chair folding laundry. 

"It was nice, refreshing actually." I said in response to her with a smile, walking into the screened in room where she was, lifting my shirt to wipe  the sweat off of my face before letting the fabric fall against my torso again. "I met someone new, his name is Keith." I added on as I leaned against the chair where my mom was sitting. 

"Oh really? Isn't that the boy who just moved into the town? I'm sure he was nice." She said in her sweet tone, a soft laughter erupting from her as I wiped off the sand and moisture from my face. Yes, this might be my sisters clothes that I took from the laundry earlier, but the loose and minimal fabric is easy to run in! "What was he like? Maybe we could invite him over." She said with her signature smile, I know that she likes to invite people over even if this house was already crowded as it is. 

"We didn't talk much. Maybe if I see him more and we talk more, or you can make the family some of your famous enchiladas!" I said with a smile smile, kissing her cheek quickly before starting the walk to my and my brothers shared room. "where's the rest of the McClain crew?! It's so quiet!"

"Well, Rachel and Veronica are out with a few friends, Sylvia and Nadia are outside playing, Marco is sleeping, as usual." She said with a huff and roll of her eyes. However, she smiled when her cooking was complimented. "And Luis is out with Lisa on the beach. I'm happy it's quiet though. I got alot more done."

"Well, I'm going to go shower and then I'm going to go to the arcade, is that ok? You'll have more alone time!" I called back to her as I walk into the bathroom, closing the door and getting undressed from the clingy clothes. Due to the thin beach house walls, he'll be able to talk to his mother as he's showering as if they were still in the room, the bathroom and the patio being next to eachother.

"That's fine Lance! And don't get the floor too wet in the bathroom!" I heard her call back as she started to hum a bit while she was getting a few more things done around the house. I know that she values the quiet, treasuring as much as she could get. Since, being honest, Quiet wasn't the most common thing in the McClain household.

I shower quickly so I can get to the arcade before it gets crowded, cleaning the sand and sweat off so I didn't stink like I use to when I was five and refused to bathe, and so I wasn't uncomfortable with sand in my shoes because of the sand that stuck to my feet. I turn the water off and steps out, drying myself quickly and wrapping the towel low around my waist.

"Ok! thanks mom!!" I said in response to her after I stepped out, thinking that she may not have heard me if I responded while the water was still running.

"You're welcome! Don't be out all night though!" She called out to me, noticing that she had to deal with a few sand trails that my siblings, and may or may not me, have trailed into the house. I walk into my room and hear a quick and angry line of Spanish coming from my mother, probably scolding Sylvia and Nadia. Maybe it was their fault that the sand was trailed through the house?

After closing the door, I take the towel from around my waist and put it in a quick wrap around my head so my hair didn't drip all over the place as I pick out clothes. Maybe I'll just go for what I normally wear, picking out a colorful bright space themed tank top that had the NASA logo big in the middle as well as blue sport shorts. Taking the towel out of my hair and actually drying my hair, leaving the towel on the floor and my hair an absolute mess for now as I slip on my clothes quickly, a finishing touch as I put on my favorite necklace that had a shark tooth on it and small wooden beads. After quickly putting on my worn down vans, I leave my room and head for the door.

"Be home by at least eleven today, okay Lance?" She called out to me as I walked to the exit of the house. She did set a pretty flexible curfew for me and the rest of the family, even if we were only a few minutes late, it was fine.

"Yep! I'll probably be home before dinner though." I grab my bag that was spread across the floor by the door and swing it into my shoulder before walking out the screen door and leaving the house, "BYE MAMÁ!" I called back into the house for her before picking up my worn down beach bike that was sprawled in the yard, getting on and peddling down the sidewalk of mainstreet of the beach side town.


	4. Bikes Down The Hill

That Running guy was right, it does get way more hot once the sun fully comes up. Walking up to a bench on the boardwalk, I put down the water bottle down that he gave me, then took my jacket off, instantly becoming freezing. What the hell?? I hate it when the weather is like this, making up put your jacket on because it's cold without it then it gets unbearably hot with it on. I just decide to leave it off because it's better to be cold then hot in my opinion. With a long sigh I pick up my crap walk up the public board walk to start walking "home". 

Walking from the beach to all the buildings and roads, it instantly became about 8 degrees (f) warmer, probably because these buildings block the cold air coming off the water, most likely, at least I think. I walk out into the sidewalk of main street and almost instantly heard a loud yell from up the shallow hill.

"LOOK OUT!" I heard a strange farmilier voice call. I look up to see a blue blur of a bike and boy speeding right in my direction. I also almost instantly jump out of the way when I do see it with a fear of my life.

"WHAT THE HELL!!" I yell to him as he zoomed past exactly where I was just standing. He must have put his break on once he saw me because his bike stoped a few feet after he would have hit me.

"Sorry ma- oh! Hey I know you!! From before!" I heard him say, and at once I recognized him as well once he wasn't just a blur. "Wazzup Mullet!"

"W-Wa?! Mullet!! And what's up??? You almost just killed me!!"

"Oh please, you're being over dramatic. And yeah!" He said with a soft laugh, and if I didn't know better then others would think that the laugh was innocent, "Your mullet was vary rememberable! 

"That doesn't mean you get to call me that!" I argue back, stepping back onto the place I was at before, to hold my ground. 

"Welllll SOOorrrrRY Mr.charmless!" I heard him say in a defensive tone, a more disgusted look on his face. He turns back around without another word and speeds off down the hill. 

What did he expect? He literally almost ran me over. Why would he expect what he was expecting?? Whatever. Wait. I'm actually wearing the hairband that he gave me. Half of the water in the water bottle that he gave me is gone. Did me notice those things and assume something??

I turn around and watch as he road down the hill quickly, seeing him pull into an old looking flat building with a neon light sign claiming it as the "Arcade!! Best on the beachside". I sticker a bit at the claim, thinking it to be absolutely ridiculous for people to believe in such a claim, but also ridiculous that the tan boy in blue went there instead of the obviously better one a bit farther away. 

"OI WATCH IT!!!!" I heard a loud voice from behind me, a voice that sounded like it belonged to an 11 year old boy. A green bike zooms past me, and once it gets a bit farther away I could see a shorter looking girl on the green bike, the skirt of her dress flying in the wind behind her because she was standing as she practically flew down the path, luckily she was wearing shorts underneath so I couldn't see what I didn't want to see.  
Another shot past me, 

"PIDGE WAIT UPPPPP!!!" A deep yet childish almost voice called out, a bigger tropical looking boy on a yellow bike struggling to catch up to the smaller girl on the green one. They pulled into the same place where the other boy was, he must already be inside "the best arcade on the beachside". 

"Hunk! We were supposed to be here ten minutes ago!! Ya know how Lance always gets here early too, he's probably already been here for ages!" I heard the girl say as she got of, her bike, leaving it next to the blue one.

For some reason.. seeing all of this and somewhat being involved in the event made me feel lonely, made me feel empty. Like, I was right outside of all this fun and friends, that it's touching me but I can't reach it, no matter what i do, because this wall that I've built.

No, I've already told myself that I'm ok with this, that this is better then being hurt again. 

I turned a blind eye to the group of friends, starting to walk home quicker as I physically felt the wall grow higher, just as I told it to do.


	5. Archade

"Why are you guys so late?! I've been waiting for-" I check my phone for the time, trying to hold back a snicker from my own ridiculousness, "-you left me waiting here for about a- hahaha!" Nope, couldn't hold back the laughter"

"Come on Lance!! You know we didn't mean to" Hunk said to me, and based on the look on his face he was actually kinda worried that I was waiting for a long time.

"He's just messing with us. I bet he got here just before we did" Pidge said, slightly joining my chuckle as she softly nudged Hunk with her elbow.

"And the Pidgereeno is correct!!" 

"I told you not to call me that!! What the hell is a "Pidge" anyway?!" She said with imaginary hot steam coming out of her ears.

"Come on Pidge, I'm just keeping up your brothers legacy while he's gone!" I think I make a pretty valid argument. Matt always called Kaity 'Pidge', and, well, he always stopped whenever she asked, but that's not how I roll! 

"He's not 'gone'! He's coming back! He's just off at college!" She said, a visible blush of anger across her face.

"Ok ok ok" I said quickly with my arms up as a bit of defense, knowing that she's a strong person for someone so tiny. I take a deep breath almost as a measurement of the moment, lowering my arms slowly and backing up. I couldn't help when a smile forms on my face, when I hear a fermilier toon in the background, quickly turning around and running through the lanes between the bright lights of the games,

"Anyone wanna play Space Invaders with me??!!!" I call back to my friends as I head to the back of the arcade. There it was, my one true love~ Sitting there in the back of the building, hidden by newer games they installed. I have the top high-scores in this game, other then the other flakes of names in the system such as Hunk, Pidge, some kids I don't know, and even Matt! 

My friends quickly head back with me. Kaity in her usual spot in the archade game, leaning against the flat part in front of the screen where people put quarters if they want to play next. And Hunk was standing on the other side of me, sceptical of what Kaity seemed to be excited about.

"He's not going to beat his high score.. Kaity the time he almost beat the game was just some sort of struck of luck! He got that high score when he first started playing, it was just-"

"I know you doubt my skills Hunk~"

"Yeah Hunk! Do you remember how EPIC it was when he got so far last time??!! It was so COOL!!" Kaity said with just, or almost more, excitement the me!

"Just, I'm going to go play some other games. Call me back if you get close to beating it!" Hunk said with a supportive smile as he walks back into the maze of games.

"Comeon Lance!!! You can do it!" She said with a tone of encouragement as well. I take a deep breath and rub the quarter between my hands for luck uhbefore I put it in the little slot, the screen pops up-  
___________________________________  
Score<1>          Hi-score          Score<2>  
0000                 24515                0000  
                              Play  
                      Space Invaders   
              *Score Advance Table*  
                    <••>\- ? Mystery   
                     <|>\- 30 points  
                     <|•|> \- 20 points  
                    _(••)_- 10 points  
                                                Credit 00  
___________________________________

I take another deep breath before I press down on the button, knowing that once the game starts, my adrenaline will be running the entire time.

Protect the space bases.

That's all I have to do.

I press the start button and the game starts, me at the bottom below my 4 bases above me, and at the top was 5 rows of alien ships. I got this.

The first rounds were easy, but as I kept going, it just kept getting faster and faster.  
My goal, reach 25,000 points.

"Well, this is going to take a while.." Kaity mumbled standing up from resting against the game, "I'm going to go play Dragon's Lair"

"Good luck saving your wife!" I said to her in a more teasing way, knowing that pidge absolutely has a crush on the princess, everyone does! I don't lift my eyes off the screen of space invaders though, not wanting to accidentally mess up and have to start all over.

"Princess Daphne is my only true love!!!" Pidge called back to me as she made her way to the newer game.

Wait!

Shit!

How??

The aliens were already at my bases!!! Andddddd...  
I lost.....  
Now I have to start over

___________________________________________________  
___________EXTRA___________________________________  
I've given up on trying to beat my high score on space invaders. Each time I start a round, I almost immediately die..  
Boom..  
All my bases destroyed.

"Nevermind Hunk, this attempt is fruitless! Wait of quarters for nothing." I said with an offended chuckle, turning around and leaning against the dash, looking across the arcade. I just can't seem to get in the same mindset of that day, what was different??

Well, I was younger, and I wasn't trying so hard. Maybe that's it?? I just need to relax? That seemed easy!

I turned back around and saw the start screen again and I felt my goal pulsating through me, and I suddenly realized that the whole 'just don't try so hard' won't be so easy. 

"Man, you ok?? You're sorta' just starring at the screen" I heard Hunk point out to me, I just nodded,

"Ye'h ye'h I know, I'm just trying to get in the zone!! Ya know?!"

"The space zone?"

"Yeah the space zone!! I gotta teleport my mindddddd." I told him as if it was an obvious thing and that I was just an expert, he didn't seem convinced though. 

"Ok ok, you don't believe me, I can see why." I said as I took out a quarter from my pocket. "Ok!! Now to bless this quarter!!" I proclaimed as I held the change up like it was the last one in existence. First, I wipe it down and polish it with the hem of my shirt, then I held it up to Hunk, "ok! Now a smooch from an angel!" And just like the many other times we've done this ritual, hunk pressed a kiss to the freshly cleaned coin. "Next! A smooch from the devil just for good balance of the force!! PIDGIN!!!" I called out through the empty arcade.

"FUCK OFF!" I heard from the other side of the building, from where I know the Dragons Lair game is set up. Honestly, her voice is like soothing banshies to my ears

"Close enough!" And proud of the ritual they have just done, just as extra precaution, I rub the coin between my hands just like Matt always did for his good luck. Then, I carefully put it into the coin slot as if it was made of pure gold. 

"You know, Lance, if you do that every single time then it won't be special anymore" Hunk pointed out to me as I felt the click of the machine accepting the coin.

"Yeah, but, I need that luck right now!" He just shrugged after I said that, and I knew that he had something else in his mind to say but he just wasn't saying it. 

It went back to level one, time to start over.


	6. “Home” Sweet Home

I tried to enter the house as silently as I could, feeling like I should have gotten the hang of sneaking around unseen and unheard after eleven years in and out of foster homes, early in the mornings, or in the nights. I felt like I was pretty quiet as I walked in, closing the door behind me slowly,using my hand as a cushion so it didn't squeak, before I slowly tried to make my way to the stairs so I wouldn't be caught, but just as I took my first step to the stairs, the wood floor under me creaked,

"Keith! I'm so glad you could make it home for lunch today" A familiar voice came from the dining room, Mr. Shirogane. With the walk of shame, dragging my feet and my shoulders hunched as I look down, I walked into the dining room, 

"Look, I'm sorry I left this morning, I just wasn't in the mood," I mumbled a bit, although it may have perhaps sounded a bit snappy, especially since these people don't know me that well.

"It's alright son, what I said wasn't sarcastic, I'm happy that you decided to come home for lunch" I looked up to see a smile on his face, cringing when he called me son, but, did he actually feel that? He was looking up from his book, he probably did actually feel that way. I just nod a bit, not really knowing what else to say, tapping the toe of my shoe against the floor. "It's alright Keith, you can go do your own thing until Anzu comes home with lunch, I'll call you down when she's back." He added to dismiss me, probably seeing how uncomfortable I was not knowing what to do next. I nod to him again silently, then turn around to head upstairs like my original plan was. 

My room was bare, nothing special. It was just the spare bedroom that they just gave to me, and most of my personal positions I keep in my backpack, while the nessesitys like my pillow and my clothes I keep hidden in the drawers or under the sheets of the made bed. I know that Mrs. Shirogane will be home soon with lunch, so I probably shouldn't do anything time consuming, so perhaps a time waister instead. 

Today wasn't the best day so far, I feel groggy and slow, and I know I probably won't leave the house again today. I take the shirt that I was wearing off and slipped on an overly large soft gray sweatshirt with the words 'Garrison University" with a washed out looking 'G' logo, the one that mrs Shirogane gave to me to wear to help calm me down after that fight I got into the day after school ended. She said that I reminded her of her son.

I just laid in bed, more or less curled up, while I just play on my phone. I just did that until I heard the door open from downstairs, an unfamiliar voice quickly being erupted from downstairs,

"It feels so strange to be home!" The voice that I didn't recognize proclaimed almost as soon as they walked in. At this point, my phone was down at my side and I was sitting up, knowing I should head downstairs to save mr Shirogane the pain of coming upstairs to get me.

"You weren't gone for that long! It shouldn't feel that weird!" I heard mrs Shirogane say with a laugh. So mrs Shirogane is home, did she bring someone else home? I get up and walk down stairs slowly, 

"Mrs. Shirogane, who else is he-" I started as I walked down the stairs, knowing that she was at the bottom to answer, but once I passed the middle of the stairs and was able to see this mystery person. I've seen him only in pictures around the house, but now he seemed completely different then what I knew him as, because now he's here, and he's smiling and alive, and not just a stagnant frozen person in 2d. It's their son, Takashi. 

I froze when I saw him, and it seemed like all three of the Shiroganes noticed that. 

"Oh! You must be Keith! Shirogane Takashi, Nice to meet you" He said in the most rehearsed and militaristic seeming introduction, making him seem too trustworthy to trust. He was holding his left hand out for me to shake, he seemed so excited to meet me.

"Yea. Um.. I'm Keith. Its-,, um,, nice to meet you too" I responded, but I didn't move. Mr Shirogane softly put his hand on his shoulder and I saw him whisper something to Takashi, Takashi hand falling back to his side. My face instantly felt hot, my chest fluttery from embarrassment, my head clouded from anger, I knew he said something about me, something about how I'm 'going through something' or some shit like that. 

I. Am. Not. 

Mr Shirogane must've seen my face because he smiled in his way that said 'everything will be alright' like always, it didn't help, it just made a me more agitated at him. I turn back around in my toes and run up the steps in the white vision of my anger, and next thing I know I'm slamming and locking my bedroom door behind me. 

I hear a bit of muffles from the other side of the door, like they were talking softly still at the bottom of the steps, except this time it was probably about me instead about Takashis visit. I tried to hear their conversations, pressing my ear to the door, but it stoped soon after it started, then sounds of footsteps were headed up the stairs,

"Go the fuck away," I call out to them, my voice somewhat shaky even if I try to suppress it, my voice even cracking. 

"Keith, it's Takashi," I heard his voice from the other side of the door, his voice sounding less like a machine and more like an actual person. I don't know weather the fact that it's him should make me more angry, or not. 

"Please just leave me alone.." I grumbled in the same kind of tone, but perhaps softer and less rude or whatever.. 

"Well, I cant help but to think that I made you upset. So, you don't have to talk to me, but, I'm just going to sit out here, give you some company. Is that alright?" I heard him from just beyond the other side of the door.

"Yeah. That's alright."


	7. 1up Text

"Yo! Pigeon! Any luck saving the princess?!"  I called back to her from the other side of the arcade with a chuckle as I try to finish this level of space invader, but just as I called out to her, I died. "WhAT?!! I call bogus!!"

"Nah, I didn't save her yet, but I discovered the movements for the octopus room and the staircase," I heard her voice from behind me. I turned around and leaned against the space invaders game to look out among the maze of games. "And what are you freaking out about doofus? You just need more practice, that's all." She added, making me pout,

"Yeah, I guess," I groaned, probably sort of childishly. "Hunk! Buddy! Whatcha doin'?!"

"Just playin' Rampage," He shortly answered from somewhere within the arcade, "Gettin' bored though. Should we go out and do something else? Like, get lunch. Or something." Now that he said it, I was definitely feeling hungry, having only eaten breakfast more then just a few hours ago.

"Yeah, sure! Why don't we go to the ice cream place down the street? We'd probably get a discount since Allura works there now," Pidge said as she turned a corner of the game maze to face me, fixing her round nerdy glasses before putting her hands into the pockets of her skirt. That sounds like a good plan to me!

"Hunk! Buddy! Whatda you think? Ice cream?"

"Well I was hoping for sandwiches since it's more of a lunchy food, butttttt-I only have so much allowance money left for the week.. and if we get a discount..- sure! Ice cream is good!" As we were walking out of the arcade, I heard the muffled sound of the extra life melody from Mario, and instantly recognized it to be Pidge's phone. She pulled it out, and I tried to take a peek of what the text said, or at least who it was from, before she tilted it to herself; as she read it, her face filled with confusion.

"What is it?" Hunk asked from beside me, he was also looking at Katie with the same inquisition I was. "You look like you've seen a ghost!" He added with a soft chuckle, the chuckle he normally adds when he's a bit freaked out about something. When She looked up at the two of us, a dorky and bright smile was completely encompassing her expression, which just made me confused more.

"Matt's home!" She said with a happy squeak in her voice, running over to her bike that was chained up beside mine, and hoping on. "Are you two coming??!" Hell yeah! Almost as if on cue, me and Hunk rush over to our own bikes and hop on.

~~~~+~~~~~+~~~~~

The normal two cars were in front of Pidge's house, except now there was a third. The car was recognizable, and easily distinguishable as Matt's car, having seen him drive that ugly green colored Jeep around all the time before he left, except now he has a couple of cool stickers on it. The screen door of the house shut and Matt, who was still in his uniform, ran out with just as dorky of a smile as pidge had earlier. It looked like something from a movie, the two siblings running to each other with their arms open, well, it was like that until the vary end when Matt tried to put her in a headlock, but she seemed to expect that? So she ducked out of the way right in time? Their relationship is strange, I guess I can't say anything though, my relationship with my siblings is sort of similar.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming home today!" I heard Katie say playfully hit her brothers shoulder as I gently laid my bike down beside hers.

"I wanted to surprise all of you! And it looks like it worked!"

"How was your first year at the Garrison?" I asked as I walked up to the two. The Garrison University is my absolute dream, going there and learning to be a pilot, it's been what I wanted to to since I was just a kid. 

"Oh my GOD where do I start!?" Matt said with that glint of excitement in his eyes, I know there are lots of stories for him to tell.

"You four! Come inside and grab a snack! I'm sure we all want to hear about Matt's university life," Mrs Colleen called from the door.


	8. The One Who Stayed

It's been a while, I don't know how long it has been, but it's just been me and Takashi siting silently back to back on either side of the door. He's so quiet. 

"Takashi." I mumbled quietly, my breath still shaking from earlier. It'll take some time. Was he still there? Or did he leave? 

"Hmm? Yes, Keith?" He responded, almost instantly. He sounded tired.. 

"Just making sure that you were still there...." I mumbled quietly, it was stupid and counter productive now that I think about it. I didn't even want him here in the first place, but, I guess he's the first person who stayed. 

"I'm still here, don't worry," his muffled voice came from beyond the closed door. I heard him sigh, or groan or something, just taking a breath, then a small thump of his head softly leaning against the door. I move as well, reaching over to tear a blanket from the bed and wrapping it around myself before I curl up leaning against the door rather then just having my back up against it.

"Takashi." I mumble quietly to him, a little 'hmm?' Coming from the other side of the door, "why didn't you leave yet? You're parents are downstairs probably waiting for you.." I wish I had something like that.

"Well, it's my philosophy to never leave someone behind. You're no less part of our family, and I don't want you to feel left behind.." I don't even know what to say to that, I just felt my eyes grow hot and my vision grow fuzzy. I can trust Takashi, I know this.. somehow. 

I reach up and unlock the door, and Takashi must've heard the click because the door opened carefully a few moments later, a a few moments after that Takashi was beside me and I was being hugged, and it was so nice and warm.. it felt like we were like that for just as long as we were sitting back to back, except now I was vulnerable, crying and in his arms. 

"Please don't tell anyone about this," I managed to get out in a soft laugh as I relax and just lean against him.

"My lips are zipped, Little bro," he answered, returning the chuckle. Little bro? I did imagine he'd be the sort of dork jock! But I do like it. "Wait, are you wearing my garrison sweatshirt?"

"Maybe.."

—————————————————————  
We went downstairs together, my eyes perhaps still a little red and poofy but it was fine I guess, Is not like the shiroganes haven't seen me cry before. As we made it down the steps, their eyes were instantly on us. They were just sitting on the sofa doing their thing, reading the newspaper, a novel, whatever. 

"Are you two alright?" Mrs Shirogane asked as I hid behind Takashi as we walked into the room.

"Yeah, we're fine mom, you don't need to worry," I'm definitely thankful for Takashi's answer, I don't even think I could talk right now without sounding like I'm loosing my voice.

"Well, if you two are alright, perhaps we could invite the Holts over for dinner? We haven't seen Matt in a while, and he came home with you, right?" Mr Shirogane asked, Takashi nodding and sitting down on the loveseat that laid sort of adjacent to the couch. 

"Yeah, he's the one that drove me to me and moms meet up point. Although Commander Holt is still at the garrison. Still has to finish up some stuff." When he finished explaining the situation, Takashi looked over at me almost as if he was asking me if it was alright if people came over for dinner, yeah, I mean, I just shrug, whatever. Takashi looks back over to his parents, "I think it's a good idea to have them over! I can call Holt- ..er.., Matt, if you want. Or if you wanted to call Mrs Holt?" This conversation meant nothing to me now, I'll probably just stay quiet during dinner anyway.

—————————————————————  
Takashi and I passed our time before dinner. He showed me his old gameboy color, and we just sat on the couch playing that for hours. By now Takashi wasn't wearing his uniform anymore and was wearing something similar to what I was wearing, except the sweater was definitely newer, the logo on it less worn out. I also managed to put my hair up in a little poof on the back of my head using that stupid blue ponytail holder. It got late fast as we played pokémon, the smell of dinner wafting through the house, then a knock on the door that made me jump in my seat a bit. Takashi noticed, and smiled to me and patted my shoulder as he stood up as if to tell me it was alright, handing me the gameboy to keep playing on as he went to go answer the door. The conversation went as I expected, Takashi and his friend Matt greeting as I would expect jock dorks would greet each other. Then Mrs Holt saying something like 'oh you've grown so much!', she didn't say that, but my guess was VARY close. But then there was another greeting that made me look up in confusion, I thought it was just Matt and his mom?

"Katie! Now when are you going to join us at the garrison?!" I heard Takashi ask with a snicker as he playfully nudges Matt who was also chuckling.

"You know I'm going to when I can! Hopefully just in a year if I'm able to graduate early!" And with that, a shorter girl steps inside with a large grin.   
Wait, I recognize her!

"Hey!! You're the one who almost ran me over on your bike!!" I announced quickly and loudly as I stood up in a start, leaving the gameboy on the couch. Everyone looked over, and she looked confused at first as if she didn't recognize me, then she looked terrified. What did her friend call her?? Oh, right, "you're name is Pidge, right!?" Everyone was still and quiet, looking between me and her. It's like what happened earlier, I just hope it doesn't end like that one did. Finally, her mom put her hands on her hips and faced her,

"Katie!! What did I tell you about being more careful on your bike!? That one time you broke 4 bones after speeding down a hill wasn't a lesson enough!?" She looked as if she's heard this lecture many times already, and Matt looks like he's trying not to laugh. Well, I mean, I sorta understand, the wind in your hair while going down a hill that fast, it's exhilarating.

"Its alright I guess, I forgive you. Just give me more of a warning next time," I'm trying to not be angry, and it can probably be heard that in my voice. I even try to smile a bit so her mom knows that it's really ok and that she can stop the lecture now. I sat back down and went back to the game, wondering how long tonight is going to last.


	9. Ice cream

I got chocolate, like I always do. Pidge got mint chocolate chip rather then vanilla bean which I thought she was going to get. Hunk got NY style cheesecake flavored; that stuff is really good so I always take a few bites of his and he takes a few from mine. We always go out to get ice cream together, it's the thing we always do every week! And now that Allura works here, she gives us some pretty good deals!

"That'll be 6.30$ for the three of you," we got lucky this time with allura checking us out rather then any of her coworkers. She puts the employee deal on our purchases, so just take one dollar off of each of the ice creams! "Is it just the three of you this time? I thought that Matt came home yesterday"

"He's unpacking today and such," Pidge answered as she takes her ice cream and heads off to the table we always sit at.

"Thank you Allura!" Hunk said to her in his upbeat voice, paying for the tip before he went to go join Pidge with his ice cream. It was just me and Allura, I felt my cheeks going red. I pulled out my wallet and got out seven wrinkled up dollars and handed it to her to pay,

"So, um- Allura. I was wondering if, maybe-" I couldn't manage to get it out! I took a deep breath, and looked back up to her, "are you perhaps free this weekend?" One moment passes, then another- She was silent. Now that my vision wasn't foggy from adrenaline, I can see a panicked and sad look in her gaze as she looked at me, I shouldn't have asked.

"Lance, I-" she started, but I didn't want her to be the one to finish her statement, that would hurt to much ,

"I know, I know.. just- nevermind" I interrupted, just having to look away, looking down and taking a small bite of my ice cream.

"I'm sorry lance. Hey I'll mak-"

"Nah it's fine llur, have a good rest of your day!" I force one of my bright smiles and look back to her, I don't want her worrying about me. I lift my hand to wave to her softly before turning my heel to walk over to my friends. They were already talking about something. I still felt Allura gaze upon the back of my head, it burned through my skull like it was fire. This was actually the first time I asked her out, although I have flirted the idea with her of going out with her, I never actually asked her out. 

"Lance, you ok? You're kind of zoned out." And now I can suddenly see hunks hand waving in front of my face, and I snap out of whatever I was in. "Dude, what's up with you?" I just shrug, I don't want to explain what just happened, especially still in front of Allura.

"Anyways, back to what I was saying. Ya know that guy we almost ran over? The guy with the longer black hair? Well I guess he's living with the Shiroganes or something?? He was there when we went to go have dinner with them last night." Pidge said, continuing her story from the beginning of a conversation that I didn't hear. I guess that new boy, Keith, was going to be sticking around for a while. I couldn't help but to smile, remembering my mom telling me to invite him over for dinner to greet him to town, maybe I'll actually have a chance to. Actually, I think I will! I stand up with my ice cream still in hand, grabbing my bag and starting to head out to the door. 

"Wait, Lance! Where are you going!" Hunk said probably just as quick as I got up,

"To invite him to dinner," I answered back to Hunk as I took my phone out to call mamá. 

"Who!?"

"Keith!"

——————————————————————  
Mamá said it was alright if I went to go invite Keith over for dinner, she actually sounded ecstatic! I walked down the road where the Shiroganes live, having gone to Takashis place a couple times to play his video games.   
Mannnnn all of these houses are nicccceeeeeeee! I forgot how nice these beach houses are! Once I become older and win the lottery or some shit I'm gonna buy one of these places for my family, they deserve one of these houses.

Lost in my own trail of thought again, I get there almost like there was no walking time in between at all; like, suddenly, I'm standing at their front door. I lift my hand to knock, but it freezes there as I think about how I'm going to explain this to Keith without sounding weird, or Keith actually agreeing. I'll figure that out when I get there. I hold back my nerves and knock the back of my knuckles against the door, rocking my feet back and forth as I wait for someone to answer the door. It doesn't take to long for someone to answer, the familiar face of Mrs Shirogane great me,

"Of! Lance! Nice to see you dear! Please, come inside" she is kind, as always. She steps aside to let me in, I just take a few steps inside so she can close the door, "Takashi! Lance is here!"

"Oh, actually, I'm not here to see Takashi. Actually, rather, for Keith." She seemed surprised, and I understand why; Keith seems like he keeps to himself, and he's new around here so he probably doesn't have to many friends.

"Never mind Takashi! Keith, a friend is here to see you!"


	10. Wet Ink

"Keith, a friend is here to see you!" Mrs shirogane called from downstairs. I'm just minding my own business in this empty room of mine, listening to music. I turn the music down so it isn't drowning out the world around me, opening my door and leaning against the doorframe,

"Can't be. Don't have friends," I responded, not wanting to be rude and ignoring one of the only foster parents who actually cared for me. I was just turning to go back into my room when I heard an unfamiliar yet familiar voice coming from downstairs, probably the person at the door,

"Keith, it's me, Lance! We met on the beach the other day??" Yeah, I recognize his voice now; he's that lanky guy I met while on my walk, that guy who game me water and a hair tie, then almost ran me over with his buddies. I head over to the stairs, walking down only a bit in order to see him, to confirm my suspicions.

"Why are you here??" I spoke, my music still softly playing in the background back up the stairs. Him and mrs shirogane were looking at me, but I was only looking at that boy, wanting him to leave me alone. I walk all the way down, and over to mrs shirogane, "thank you mrs shirogane for answering the door, I'm ok now." I faced her with a convincing smile to get her to leave, not wanting her here when I start to chew out this kid.

"Well i'm here to-" he started, but was distracted when mrs shirogane left, his mind seemed frazzled.

"Whatever you're gonna ask, the answer is no." I don't want to know this kid, I don't want to become friends with him. Why don't people realize that getting close to others is too risky?? I can still imagine the pain in my chest, and I don't want to feel that way again; so alone, and abandoned.

"But-"

"Didn't you hear what I said?? my answer is no!" I griped the front door edge tight in my hand, really just ready to end this conversation now and close him out. 

"Ok," he had a grin of mischief on his face; I really just wanna slam this door into that face. "Keith, would you Not like to come over for dinner??" Ok, playing with words won't change my answer.

"Then yes, I would definitely NOT." That was more of a shout, I have to be careful, I really don't want any of the shiroganes knowing that I'm pushing out this guy. He's actually really nice, I can tell from the brightness in his eyes, how he offered his stuff to me the day I met him, how right now he's offering me dinner even though he doesn't know me. I cannot drag him down, i cannot be his friend, I have to push him away so he doesn't constantly try to persuade me to be his friend. I don't want the pain to happen to him by my hands.

"Oh, well, that didn't work then- um.." he now seemed even more disheveled, looking down and kicking at the ground. "Ya sure?" He looked hopeful and desperate, that showing through in his voice. My breath was caught in my throat, just imagining that that was probably the expression I was giving my dad that day, desperate for his love. I can't leave him like this, I could cause it, I don't want to wish that upon someone else. 

"Sorry... um..." I looked behind me, hoping that takashi was there to guide me through this, but I was alone; just how I wanted, I guess. I felt my hands shaking, quickly shoving them into my sweatshirt pockets to hide them. 

"Dude, you ok?" The bright boy asked, looking worried. I nodded, I guess I let my guard down. I take a deep breath and look up to him,

"Look, I can't tonight-..its, too soon notice," I lied, that's not the reason. "Maybe some other time?" I asked him, making his own lips curl into a soft smile.

"Another time then. See ya around Keith" he said with his smile and a soft wave as he turned to head down the tall stairs of the porch. A quick cold shiver ran through me as I watched him take the first few steps away from me,

"W-wait!" I called out, not meaning to, my voice just working on its own accord. You have to come up with something quick Keith, he's looking at you now waiting for you to say something, say something! "We have no way to get in contact with each other," I said sorta upbeat in order to hide the voice crack when I was calling him back. I pulled out a pen from the key table drawer beside the door, "mind if i give you my number?" 

"Sure! I'll be sure to text you later so you can make a contact for me too" his smile was so bright now, just as happily as when I first met him. He pulled up his sleeve and held his wrist out for me, and I quickly jotted my number down, having to work around some of the rough leather bracelets he was wearing. He let the ink dry as he turned around to start heading away again, "see ya!" He called back to me as he was blowing on the phone number I left on him. 

"Bye." I said probably to soft for him to hear as I closed the door, re-locking it before heading back upstairs to my room. Takashi was poking his head out of his room, watching me walk up the stairs in worry,

"What was that?"

"Just some kid I met trying to become my friend, no big deal.." i mumbled, suddenly just feeling really tired from the interaction.

"Are you sure it's no big deal?? Keith, I know something is up, your crying." Wait, what?? I reach up and wipe my cheek, feeling the now cool tears wipe onto my hand. I guess I'm not ok.


	11. Smudged Ink

‘Hey Keith!’  
‘This is lance btw.’

I couldn't help but to stand there under that singular unlit streetlight at the end of the road and just watch the screen of my phone after I sent those two text messages. The ink on my wrist smudged a bit, hopefully I got the numbers right and I didn't just text a random person. I just stood there, waiting for that little 'Read 5:46PM' to pop up under my texts, and then the little '...' to pop up on his side.   
One minuet I wait,  
Then two,

Next I look at the time it's been ten minutes,  
Guess I zoned out.. again..

I put my phone away in my pocket, a bit disappointed sorta, but I guess he's busy or something, and that's why he couldn't come over for dinner. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes to just focus on the smell of the sea-salt on the wind rather then the jumble of thoughts in my head, tucking them away so I could hopefully have some peace of mind on the walk home. I was focusing on each step so deeply I barely  noticed that my pocket was buzzing, my phone. I quickly pulled my phone out and glanced at the name, Keith.

"Hola, this is Lance," I answered, unable to help the upbeat tone in my voice. I continue to walk home at a slower pace; I have a goal to fit five steps per cement square, that definitely slows down my pace significantly.

"Hey Lance!" But this wasn't the voice I was expecting, it wasn't Keith, but Shiro. Although I could hear another voice in the background,  
"You asshole! Shiro, give me my phone back!" Keith sounded far away, but he was still loud in the receptor. His voice sounded broken, was he crying??

"Don't worry Keith," the muffle of Shiro's voice came through. What the hell was going on over there? "Anyway. Lance! we were wondering- Keith, was wondering if he could take you up on that offer on dinner?"

"Are you sure Shiro? He, um, I can sorta hear him back there. Is he doing alright?" I whispered into the mic, turning away from the sidewalk so anyone passing by wouldn't overhear anything. My anxiety grew as I thought more about this; I could still hear Keith sobbing in the background, was that my fault?

"Oh- he, is-" Shiro started, but he faded out. Then I heard a thump sound as if the phone was dropped, then shuffling before nothing. The call ended. It wasn't over for long though, soon my phone was ringing again and I quickly picked up.  

"S-sorry for that.." It was Keith apologizing. I still heard a few sniffles still, as well as Keith cursing under his breath. "Shiro thinks he can help me by, ya know, helping me make friends. Not really helping though..."

"Oh, yeah." I had absolutely no clue what to say to him. "Hey, um, you don't have to come to dinner. Like, if you're just not interested that's fine." I suggested, with a heavy heart of course, I still want to be able to have him over for dinner one of these nights, but if he's not up to that I wouldn't want to force him. 

"No. No, I would still like that- I guess.. at one point or another. Just not now." He answered, a small shakiness still in his voice. "Shiro's not here anymore by the way, I kicked him out of my room. So, if you wanted to talk to him-"

"No talking with you is nice." I said quickly. What? What did you just say Lance? What if he takes that the wrong way? I heard I soft snicker on the other side of the call, making the bundle of thoughts in my head disappear and my own smile appear. "That was a weird thing to say, sorry," I admitted with a slight chuckle of my own,

"Kinda? But I appreciated it." Keith sounded so much better then he did earlier. I wonder how many people actually tell him that kinda thing, that it's nice talking with him, or wanting to get to know him better. I wonder if he just goes through life not hearing that, so he believes no one cares. Shiro is right, Keith does need a bit of steering, but he was doing it the wrong way; he was forcing rather then guiding. 

"Hey, I know you can't come over to dinner tonight, but, maybe we can hang out tomorrow? Nothing to much, maybe just a walk along Main Street." I suggested after a moment of silence over the line. Perhaps the jump right from nothing to dinner was to high and stressed Keith out? Maybe this was an easier hurdle. There was another long break of silence between us, 

"It sounds nice, I'll get back to you on that, is that alright?" This time, when compared to earlier at the house when he didn't sound so enthusiastic about moving the dinner to a later date, he sounded truthfully full hearted into this idea, although he still sounded hesitant.

"Just one step at a time, you don't need to jump in all at once" I assured him, trying to mimic the soft voice my mamá uses on me when I'm stressed out. I hear a sigh of relief on the other side, and I know he's ok, "we'll just play it by ear, hows that sound?"

"That sounds great, thank you Lance," I close my eyes and try to imagine how Keith might look right now, imagining him with a happy smile. "I'll text you in the morning then. Bye"

"Bye, Keith" I pulled the phone away and looked at the call screen for a few seconds before I hung up. 

Taking a deep breath I stood up, slipping my phone back into my pocket as I take my first normal step in a while, one that wasn't small in order to fit the five steps in, or one that wasn't completely still due to my worry over the conversation that just ended. Although, the conversation went pretty well I think. I gained trust with Keith, that's always a good thing in starting a friendship. Although I am concerned for him; what makes him act so hesitantly like that? I know it's not my place to ask about it or even know, but I can at least stand by his side as he goes through it, so he doesn't have to face it alone.


	12. Stroll With You

It's about thirty minutes until Lance is supposed to come around and pick me up. My heart is racing and my stomach feels like it's sinking, I am unable to catch a good deep breath. My phone is now warm in the palms of my hands, having sat there for a while with messages open and on, I'm just looking at the keyboard, wondering if I really want to do this; if I don't want to follow through, I can just message Lance right now, it'll be fine. I'm not even dressed yet, I'm still in that hoodie, and the sleeves are still sort of damp from last nights tears.

‘I can't make it today, sorry.’

Wait no. I quickly delete that.  
Is there another way I can rephrase that?  
Why am I so hesitant about this?

‘Hey! Are you still up for today?’

Thank god! Lance texted me first. I can see his dorky smile be his message as if he was right here. Even though the text was appreciated, it made my mind foggy, and made my heart beat faster, and before I knew it, I saw another message on my screen, sent,

‘Yep!’

I sent that! What the fuck?! Why did I do that? That was so counterproductive Keith, uhhg!, 

‘Great! See you soon then’

Shit shitshit fuck fuck IM NOT EVEN READY! Even though it's still quite early in the morning, I've drained my phone to about 60 percent by just sitting here starring at it for who knows how long; I quickly plug it in before I roll out of bed. I literally roll out of bed, I was all tangled up in the blankets, what did you want me to do? 

Quickly throwing off what I had on (and really REALLY trying hard to not catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror so I don't have to see that scar), tossing the sweater and sweatpants onto the bed before riffing through the clean clothes I have in my bag still. Sure, this shirt will do; just a plain, red, soft shirt. I don't have any clean pants though, but these smell alright so they should be clean enough, the black jeans go with the red shirt anyways, even if they were a bit faded. I try to tame my hair at least a bit, and quickly brush my teeth, hoping Lance doesn't stop by while I'm still getting ready. I got lucky that he didn't.

Actually, I don't even want Takashi, nor any of the Shiroganes, to know that I'm gonna go hang out with this guy (or as they would say it "make a friend"), that'd be just to much of a burden on my part. 

"I'm headed out! See y'all soon" I call out throughout the house as I briskly walk down the steps, getting a few replies as I slip on my black high-tops next to the door. Lance was just down the road when I left the house, his face lit up when he saw me, waving to me. I quickly made it over to him, turning his walk the other way so that we were now walking back towards main-street. 

"I guess you saw me out the window or somethin?" Lance asked. I can feel his eyes fall over me, not a judgmental stare like I'm used to, but more like of softness, like he was checking up on me. It was just a slow pace we were walking, this was more like a measly stroll rather then a walk with a goal to get somewhere.

"Haha, no, just luck I guess. I can see why you'd think that though" he'd probably get annoyed with me if I told him the real reason I left without him reaching the house, how I didn't want the constant prodding from the Shiroganes about 'my new friend'. But, also, maybe I'm just thinking about this to much and it isn't that big of a deal. I clear my throat before looking back up to him, "so, uhh, Lance? What exactly did you have in mind for this?" I tried to throw a little chuckle in there.

"Mmmnn. Maybe stop at the beach, maybe get some ice cream. Nothing to much. Did you have anything in mind?" Yeah, he did say last night that this is just going to be a calm walk down Main Street. I feel a weight being lifted off of my chest, and I can breath again. I forgot for a little while there that this wasn't going to be a big thing. Thank you Lance.

"The beach sounds nice, but it looks like neither of us brought towels so we could actually rest on the beach. Um.. and for the ice cream- I'm lactose intolerant, sooo-"

"Oh! That's ok! They have lactose free options. And we can, well- if you want, I can- stop by my house to grab a beach blanket or two. Sitting on the beach sounds nice actually." The first time I met him, he came off as a sort of abrasive and irritating, not that that has changed so much, but now he has a kindness and selflessness to him that I can try to admire from afar. I saw him look back to me, and a large grin took his face before he quickly looked forward again.   
What? Wait.   
Oh! I guess I was smiling too! I can't help it. My small smile refuses to be suppressed, I look over to lance and nod a bit,

"Alrighty then! Ice cream first, then we can go to the beach." The walk to the small ice cream parlor was a short one, though I guess all the walks in the town will be short ones. When we walked in, the inside air hit me with a fresh coolness that started to contrast the growing heat of the morning outside, it's that icy coolness you can only get by walking into an ice cream shop, it was very nostalgic. The rows of tubs of ice cream inside of the freezer on the side of the counter was gleaming in my eye. I quickly made it over to the freezer, keeping myself from pressing my hands against the glass.

"Oh! Lance! I wasn't expecting to see you here until later." A soft feminine voice with a bit of an accent came from behind the counter, I don't look up, I'm still entranced by the ice cream flavors, trying to remember what each tasted like.

"Welp, you'll probably see me later too! I'm treating a new friend right now, right Keith?! What flavor do you want?" How could I choose?! There are so many I want to try again, they all look so good! "I think Keith wants a small scoop of each! And I'll have-"

"Chocolate? Like always?" The girl said, a laugh in her voice that even I found amusing. 

"Yep! Thank you Alura"

"Coming right up!"


	13. Beach Breeze

There was a sort of childlike look in Keith's eyes as he individually tried each of the small scoops in his bowl. Truthfully, I didn't expect to see this side of him; I must've thought he hid it to closely, or didn't have it. Yet, what happened last night does prove that he has a soft side of his own. I guess he does trust me, at least enough to show a bit of vulnerability.

"I think this one is my favorite. Here, try!" Keith still had his mouth full of that flavor ice cream, and now he was holding up a spoonful of what seems to be moose tracks ice cream. "Quick, before it melts." I lean over and take the bite,

"Mnn! That's better then I remember it!" I glance over to Allura; if they changed the recipe then she hasn't told me. 

"I remember it being more chocolaty. Of course, that was in a different ice cream spot; this is still delicious though." It seemed like now he was eating only that flavor.

"Where was this ice cream place with the superior moose tracks??" I couldn't keep myself from smiling as I saw Keith's, he seemed so much happier then the first time I met him, it's s nice change of pace. 

"In, um... in California." Oh no, he hesitated. Why did he hesitate? Now his smile is fading. Should I have not asked that question?

"Sorr-"

"Don't." Keith seemed cold and closed off again. As he ate his next bite he seemed to shiver at some thought, and then pushed his ice cream from him.

"Sorry."

"I told you that you don-"

"I know, I just had to say it." I felt 100% shitty. I know I didn't mean to make him feel like that but it was still my fault. An awkward silence followed my apology, I'm pretty sure Keith glanced up at me a few times, I couldn't see him though since I was also looking down.

"It's alright Lance. Sorry for, ya know, overreacting and such... um.. hey, didn't you say we can stop by your house to grab beach towels? I think I might like just sitting on the beach for a while." He was looking back up at me now, and a softness was in his eyes again, but not the happy vulnerability from earlier, more like what I'd imagine him to look like if I saw him last night. I nod,

"Yep! I can finish my ice cream as we walk. Are you ready?" I ask as I stand up, watching as he did the same with a nod. 

We didn't talk on the way. I looked up a few times, caught Keith looking up at me a few, I just got the feeling that nether one of us knew what to say. We're new friends, I barely know the guy, I don't know what he likes or his hobbies, so what really is there to talk about..? 

Eventually we made it to my house in our silence. The laughter of the children playing outside sort of broke the awkwardness between Keith and I, breaking the silence.

"I'm gonna run in real fast and grab a few towels. Do you need anything else while I'm in there?" I ask him as I start my step to the house.

"A water perhaps?" Yep! I jog inside, quickly kissing my mamá on the cheek before running to the linen closet to grab beach towels, then to the cooler beside the fridge to grab a water bottle. 

When I make my way back outside, the crappy broken revolving screen door slamming behind me, I see Keith sitting at the steps of the porch, leaning against the pole and hunched over his phone. It seems like he's trying to ignore the kids pestering around him, who have definitely gathered around him and is now bombarding him with questions.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Hey, I'm sure Keith won't want to answer your questions if you're both speaking at once and invading his personal space!" I lightheartedly scold with a slight laugh as I gently pull them a few steps from Keith. "Anyways, Keith and I are about to go for a walk, so no time for questions right now. Perhaps some other time." A few whines came from Sylvia and Nadia, but they can get over it, I'm sure they'll forget about it in a few moments after we leave and they start playing again. Keith stands up again, and I lead him down our houses boardwalk path that leads directly to the beach.

"This is where I like to take my shoes off, feel the sand worn boards under my feet, it's nice. Don't worry, you won't get splinters, the wood is to smoothed down for that." I said as I stopped in the middle of the boardwalk, taking off my sandals and just holding the pair in my hand. 

"Thank you Lance, again." Keith mumbled with a light chuckle, "telling the kids I won't answer the questions or whatever, I'm sure if it was anyone else they would comply with the kids, despite-"

"Well, I could see you were uncomfortable. It's alright Keith. Hey, for your shoes I suggest just leaving them here instead of carrying them. Just put your socks in your shoes then slide them under the boardwalk, no one will take them, only my family uses this path." He nodded his head and did exactly that, rolling up his jeans a bit before following me down to the beach. 

Once the beach grasses subsided from either side of us, the beach breezes hit. Cool and salty air brushed against our skin as we walked down closer to the water, until the mist from the waves hit us as as well. 

"Is this a good spot to set up?" I ask him as I hand him one of the towels I've been carrying.

"I think so" Keith's smile was returning, the childlike one. He wouldn't take the towel, he was to focused on looking forward at the ocean depths; it seemed like a sense of calm washed over him before he finally realized I was handing him the towel, and he took it.


End file.
